casuynut

Bespren ko si mama

2005-06-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

Heres an interesting equation for creating
better mother-daughter relationships:
subtract the generation gap and the
occational rifs, add understanding and
patience and multiply with love

I never really thought we'd have much in common,
aside from the genetic imprints: a set of birthing hips,
full butt and my penchant for ultra miniskirt. It took
me years of growing up,countless identity crises,episodes
of heartbreak and several failures (and successes) to
appreciate my mom for more than just a being a DNA
donor. Here are the five mommy facts that i've learned
which can help you transform your relationship with
your own mom,and change you from foe to fan, and
ultimately, to a friend.

1.Although she's Superwoman, shes still just Lois Lane.
Unless your mom dons bright red and blue suit. its most likely
that shes as much a woman as you are. Household routines
lead usto box her into two-dimensional labels--authority
figure ("at ano ngayon if 28 kana? Be home by 11:59 pm parin!");
alarm clock (Hoy!Gising na!"): ATM machine(" O,eto,pambayad
sa kinain mo."). Doing so makes us likely to look at our mommies
as genderless. Remember that aside from going through all the
pains of giving birth your moms also gets (or used to get) her
bouts of PMS, has coddle-me moods manages a household (which
would make her a millionaire,if it were a paying job)and has gone
through (and survived) the same issues you're now painstakingly
facing. So even if your shouting matches can deafen the entire
neighborhood, realize that she can actually relate to you in more
many ways than you can imagine. She can even be so much like you.

2. Her riddles actually make sense.
If she has something to say about every aspect of your life and
seems unable to decipher your hints to mind her own business,
remember that its because she cares (too much sometimes). Take
heed of her Yoda-like interventions and put them in perspective.
Iam not saying you should be a doormat daughter. Challenge
yourself to see the truth in her riddles and pakialamera tendencies.
If you find that you disagree with her dogmatic decrees, here's
what you do: Respect her opinion,reiterate her ideas to make
sure she knows you understand her point, and patiently
explain your side. And ditch that temper.

3. Shes your mom not your boss!
Although she may be the head honcho of your household
you dont need HR intervention to talk to her. Dont make
her a stranger. Aside fromthe common forms of respect, all
you need to remember is to be yourself and be open. Chat
with her as if you would chika a friend. Expound on your
"K,lang"replies to her "kamusta anak" queries and soon you'll
be setting yourself up for mother-daughter talkathons that
you'll eventually be looking forward to and feel incomplete
without.

4. Shes still human.
You want her to accept you as you are-- with your ocassional
laziness, bratty moods, obscure passion and all. Be fair and do
the same thing. Let her intermittent O.A. streaks pass, and
acknowledge that shes allowed to make mistakes, the same
way she forgives yours. You may have a passion for a dare-
devil extreme ssports while her passion is to make sure you're
safe, so know where shes coming from. It wouldn't hurt
to try and understand her. Cut her as much slacks as you think
you'd deserve, if she was on your case. Although she may perform
fantastic feats, she can still get excited,giddy,sad.depressed
and even sungit somtimes.

5. She wants to baby you every now and then.
From infant to toddler, from growing adolescence to true
cosmopolitan chick-- you've definely gone along way
from being her cutiewooshy-babykins. Most moms are proud
of their baby girls, so dont hate her when she brings out your
baby books or tells your week old boyfriend about how cute
you were, shoving crayons up your nose at age two. Strike her
nerve by appreciating her efforts. If your phobia of the L word
is part of your will-never-attempt-to-say list, just give her an
i-love-you -mommyhug. She'll understand it perfectly and
give you her signature pat in return--the one thats acctually
kept you sane all these years.

6 Surprising Discoveries About Love

2005-06-02T08:58:00.000-07:00

Think you're an expert on romance?
A fascinating new books examines the science of
amour and reveals some info you'll be able to put to
good use.

No matter how much how little success you've had in love
no doubt you've discovered that it can be confusing as all
get-out. Thats why youll be psyched to hear about a book
that just hit the stores. In Why We Love:The Nature and
Chemistry Of Romantic Love,anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D.,
reports on intensive brain-scan study she did of people who had
just fallen madly in love,which she then linked to studies of
pre-historic courtship.The result? An illuminating look at matters
of the heart.

1.Theres no such thing as The One
if you think your soulmate slipped away,dont fret.According
to Fisher, the world is full of guys who have the potential
to be Mr.Right."The reason so many women suffer from
dating distress is because they believe there's just one person
in the world for them,"she says."But its not true." As time
goes on,of course,we narrow down our expectations of what
we want and form a blueprint of the type we'd like to be with.
But if someone comes along who meets most of our criteria,
our rigid restrictions go right out the window.

2. Love at first sight does exist
Sure,youve heard about it in songs,seen it in movies,or listened
to a friend talk about it happening to her. Well, guess what?Fisher
compared the love chemistry of animals and humans and found that
its possible for us to fall for someone in a split second. "Animals are
biologically primed to find a partner before their mating season ends,
they need to have an instant attracation," she says. Since our brains
are pretty much wired the same way,we are capable of responding
just as quickly to such triggers as attractiveness,body language,and
compatibilty.

3. It pays to keep a guy at arm's lenght.
When you're crazy in love, its all you can do not to shower your stud
with attention and stick by his side 24-7. But Fisher insist that you should
curb the urge. Why? "Studies confirm that spending time aparts pumps
up the production of love chemicals.like dopamine and norepinephrine,
in the brain," she says. So it doesnt hurt to turn down a Thursday-night
date if you just saw him Wednesday. Look at this way: It will make your
weekend rendezvous even hotter.

4. Love is not an emotion.
We know what you're thinking: Huh? In her brainscan study of people
who had just fallen head over heals, Fisher discovered that romantic
love stimulates the section of the brain associated with focused moti-
vation and draive to win an award, such as food and sex, as opposed
to emotional centers like happiness and sadness. Now we know why
we're driven to snag that special someone who makes our pulse race.

5. Being in love is addictive.
When Fisher asked people to look at pics of their passion partners,
the part of the brain associated with addiction was activated,a
surge of dopamine was released and they felt an instant rush of
euphoria,just as if they had taken a drug. That's why the ectasy
that accompanies love can make us crave the company of our
sweetheart.

6. Men fall in love faster than women.
We tend to think women rush into love,but in fact,men do.
"The male brain is equipped to put more stock in visual cues,"
says Fisher. So when a man spots a woman who gets his motor
running,an impulse kicks in thats exclusive to the male brain."
And you thought it was just the cleavage-enhancing bra that
won him over.

Guy Spy

2005-06-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

DECODE HIS SPEAKING STYLE

The way a guy chats with you holds mega clue about his personality. Listen closely to gauge your compatiblity.

*THE STORYTELLER

Hes a creative and charming guy whos more likely to share an anecdot

that expresses his emotions than to come right out and say how he feels.HE

also craves the spotlight,so you might have fight for airtime.

*THE INVESTIGATOR

A man with an inquiring mind wants to get to know you better.But is it for the

right reasons? If he shoots off rapid-fire queries about your life,hes judging

your answer against his internal checklist. Sincerely curious dudes dig deeper,

ask followup questions, and volley back info about themselves.

*THE CONFESSOR

Whether he boasts about his salary or blabs about his past life as a player,beware

the babe who lays all his card on the table. Though he appears frank, odds are, hes

painfully insecure. Reconsider this romance unless you enjoy being a therapist.

*THE DEBATER

The guy who challenges your views on issues has an agile mind. Arguing pros and cons

is his flirtatious way of trying to understand what makes you tick. Wishy-washy women

bore him,so be sure to stick to your guns.